Cankers!

My apologies for not posting for such a long time.
I've had one of the most dreadful fortnights of my blood-spattered life.
Having been selected to represent my hamlet at the recent Commonwaarrgh Games, (I was odds on favourite to win the 100m Murder, and had an outside chance of a podium-place in the 50kg Spleen-Lob), I contracted a very aggressive bout of Cankers.
I have an inkling that it was the tub of Vaseline I borrowed from one of the disease-ridden goblin decathletes we were sharing the bus to the stadium with. Either that or a I must have eaten a dodgy Nonnystick. We will never know!
Anyways.... the Cankers are now beginning to dissipate sufficiently that I may catch up with my blaarrgghing.