Wednesday, 27 October 2010

Tinkers Piss

Quite deceptive this beer, in that it has the appearance of a light summer ale, and yet the strong taste and alcoholic content of a fartified wine.
Vinegary at first, the potent odour of yeast gives way to a warmer figgier aroma which lingers and then seems to collapse somewhat inevitably into dung.
For its robust stench alone I will give it 3/5.

'Innovations in Weaponry' - No. 17a


Tuesday, 26 October 2010

12 Inches of Pork!

You can't get MORE Old-Skool than these original 12" Pork-Vinyl records I found up in the attic this weekend. I'll be spinning them down at "The Chuntering Munter" this friday night. It's going to be CAAARNAGE, so make sure you're there. Remember Friday night is Goblins night....FREE entry to all Goblins b4 10pm. Boar Selectaaargggh!!!

Monday, 25 October 2010

Och Aarrggh the Noo!

New from the "Cranky Old" range comes these Cranky Ol' Hagpipes, made from REAL Trollskin. Nice!

Let me be your Fantasy

Check out this fantastic gallery of Fantasy artwork:

All of a Quiver!

Been feeling soooo grotty since the outbreak of my cankerous pox that I decided I needed a bit of retail therapy!
I managed to find this elegant Quiver of Fiddlesticks for a real bargain down at Primaarrgghk!


My apologies for not posting for such a long time.
I've had one of the most dreadful fortnights of my blood-spattered life.
Having been selected to represent my hamlet at the recent Commonwaarrgh Games, (I was odds on favourite to win the 100m Murder, and had an outside chance of a podium-place in the 50kg Spleen-Lob), I contracted a very aggressive bout of Cankers.
I have an inkling that it was the tub of Vaseline I borrowed from one of the disease-ridden goblin decathletes we were sharing the bus to the stadium with. Either that or a I must have eaten a dodgy Nonnystick. We will never know!
Anyways.... the Cankers are now beginning to dissipate sufficiently that I may catch up with my blaarrgghing.

Friday, 1 October 2010

Iron Wazzock

Here's a piece sent in to us by Zarrt Rape-Gravy of the Hidden Realms (AKA Rikke Asbjorn) depicting the popular bedtime tale of Gromp Gore-Gusher and his steed Iron Wazzock during their triumphant return from the battle of Raging Crud. Legend has it that they spent the whole eight week journey in awkward silence after Iron Wazzock's enthused galloping caused Gromp to become unnecessarily aroused.

You've been Maimed!

Here's a sneak-preview from the eagerly awaited new Hobbit movie... I think JRR Tonkypumps would have been very proud.

Wolf Sentinel

One of our fans has sent in this really rather striking picture of a Wolf Sentinel, guarding his (or her) coastal hamlet from the threat of attack.
What do you think he/she might be thinking as he stands there, alone, yet vigilant?

New Balls Please!!!

Slaarzenger Sports Axe!
This axe is perfectly weighted so you can Smash and Lob with ease.

Axes of Evil - No.1

Double-Handled Axe!

An immensely innovative design for the heavyweight Barbarian, this stylish model has been signed by Sir Jimmy of Page!

Manowar - Warriors Of The World